My Wanderings

I stumbled upon it this evening, as the pixies were headed up to bed. Sometimes there is a song that comes along that speaks to your spirit in ways others cannot. The melody haunted me as I folded the laundry so much so that I took a minute to sit down and look up the lyrics. And as I sat in the leather chair next to the fireplace, the words invaded my soul, and tears flowed like a fountain.

Along this path of sorrow
Along this winding road
I find myself travelling
Where sorrow is unknown

And chaos calls to chaos
Below the waterfalls
All Your waves crash o’er me
I’m crushed beneath it all

But I know, I know
You remain the same
Even in, even in
My wandering

Sometimes I often wonder
If You have let me down
Why does it seem I walk alone
Where trouble finds me out

But sorrow as my company
I fix my eyes on You
Soon again I’ll praise Your name
And feel my soul renewed

As I know, I know
You remain the same
Even in, even in
My wandering

Oh I know, I know
You remain the same
Even in, even in
My wandering

A traveler never reaches
That sacred place alone
A light to always guide you
Along the narrow road

So steadily I keep my stride
Through every briar and thorn
Although my flesh will falter
My hope is in the Lord

Because I know, I know
You remain the same
Even in, even in
My wandering

 

Two years ago we were preparing to leave England. We had no clear direction of the path He had for us. We prayed, we searched, we wandered. The path was unknown.

I wrote about it in Do You Not Perceive It:

"Thus, says The Lord, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters ... Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now, it springs forth, do you not perceive it?"  (Is. 43:16, 18-19)
And there it was, five words, fluorescent amid the black and white, "Do you not perceive it?"
I could hear his whispers, "I am doing something, do you not see it?" The more I thought about it, the more I wondered, "How many things do I miss because I don't really see what He is doing?"

~

I prayed to see it, to know what He was doing. But the path was not clear. I kept praying, seeking His direction. And wrote about it again in The Best Pathway:

"But what happens when the pathway isn't clear? The path to England was so abundantly clear, but now?
After a few moments of prayer, I began my descent through the woods leading to Boars Hill. It is is by far one of my favorite stretches of English countryside to wander. The path meanders through dense forest trees, and breaks open at the end upon a grassy knoll where sheep graze. As I ran down the path, I noticed the trail wasn't always clear. At times, as I was running, the trail would almost seem to completely disappear but then suddenly I was on the path again, and it was as visible as can be.
At that moment the Holy Spirit spoke to my spirit as clear as if He were running along beside me, and said, "This is how I direct sometimes. Sometimes it is like it was the year before you moved to England. You can see the trail for a long distance ahead of you and you know exactly where you are going in plenty of time. Other times, it is not always so clear until you are right up on it.
"Sometimes my direction and leading are not so long-term in advance. At times, I show you the path right when you are on it, with little preparation. But there it is. Clear as day. The path is there. All along I have been leading you."
And that peace that surpasses man's understanding, flooded my soul right there in the woods as I heard His words of truth.
We may not know exactly where the path is leading until we are right up on it. But we need to keep walking by faith, following ahead on the little bit of path we can see. We can rest assured that He is leading."

~

Our Savior leads us, step by step, one foot in front of the other. Because it’s true as All Sons and Daughters write, “I know, I know You remain the same, Even in, even in my wandering.”

And here we are two years later on the other side of it all, and His goodness is more than my hands can contain. I could not see all He had in store. The path was unclear. The only thing that was clear was my Companion.

“A traveler never reaches that sacred place alone.”

I was never alone. One foot in front of the other in my wandering.

My words two years ago in Shining Ever Brighter are witness to Him:

"Maybe in all my wanderings what I am really looking for is not the path, but the Guide. Maybe in all our quests what we are really searching for is the presence of God Himself. Even more so than the pathway.
Maybe all our longings to know the way to go is to really know the One who is the Way."

~

My Wandering led me to the One who is the Way.

I know, I know. Through the path of sorrow, unknown, doubt, and fear, I know He remains the same even in…

My wanderings are no match for the King of Glory. He has walked every path my human feet have traveled. All my unknowns are knowns to Him. One foot in front of the other, we climb the mountain...together. My flesh falters but the Man of Sorrow’s flesh overcomes defeat.

I know...the Way in my wandering.

 

Momma to three pixies, Lyric, Brielle, and Zion, wife to a Viking-loving writer, daughter of the King. My blog reflects living the lyrics of the cross in the beauty of everyday. I hold a Masters in theology, but more importantly, I host several barn owls in the second acre. We are all about breathing deep here and soaking in the glory of life.