Be My Guide
Sometimes I just need to climb in the back seat.
I’m slowly realizing this truth about myself … I don’t like to relinquish control. Which is interesting as I have never really characterized myself as a “control-freak.”
In general, I am laid back about a lot of things. I will throw the pixies in the car, right upon their exit from the woods. I am not the mom who shows up with the sweet girls adorned with beautiful bows in their hair.
This past week as I drove the pixies to sewing class, I looked back and saw all three girls were covered in mud. They informed me they had been playing “tribes” down by the creek.
This may not seem like a big deal, but we live in the South, and it is very proper. You don’t show up anywhere covered in mud. But, alas, that is why we moved to the woods … so the girls could run through the creek, build forts in the woods, catch crayfish in the water … and show up to sewing class covered in mud.
So although there are some things I really could care less about, there are other areas of control where I’m slowly coming to realize I need to surrender.
My Norse-man will heartily attest to this truth.
He often laments the peaceful years we experienced in Oxford riding as passengers on the double-decker bus. We would sit side by side, book in hand, reading and talking among the two of us.
But these days, if I am sitting in the passenger seat next to Tim, inevitably it results in my need to give him driving direction. I refuse to just sit back and relax.
Telling Tim what to do gives me an illusion of control. I can see where we are going, believe I know best how to get there, and make sure we don’t run off the road.
I want the reins.
The Holy Ghost convicted me of this truth this week. For months, as the youngest pixie has struggled with her cough, I realized I was trying to control the situation. I wanted the reins, to decide how things should go.
And instead, God said to me, “You need to take the backseat. You’ll never get where I want you to be unless you release your control.”
I was hushed.
Here’s the thing: in our hardest journeys, God is taking us somewhere. As trying as this time is, He has a specific plan. And we will never get to where we need to be, if we don’t take a back seat.
He wants to be our Guide, to lead us on to something bigger, better. Sometimes He is just waiting for us to get out of the way.
I’m learning I need to let go and trust the Great Guide. I need to get out of my own way. Let Him drive.
God doesn’t need for us to tell Him where to turn, or go. All we need to do is sit in the back and TRUST. Because He can be trusted.
“You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” ~Psalm 16:11